It seriously gets under my skin when I see some mommy at the school holiday performance blocking the center aisle and getting all Annie Leibovitz with her little darling and getting in the way of everyone else's (read "my") cell phone shot because they (I) didn't bring a camera, yet again. I just keep thinking how many hundreds of dollars that camera must have cost and don't they have anything better do with their money. I think my disdain has something to do with what I would like myself to be and what I know myself to be. I would like to be the type of parent that beautifully and patiently documents every joyous moment and milestone in my children's lives. Who I am is a mother who likes her kids to be involved in only one activity at a time so it doesn't make her crazy trying to get to and from all over the place all week.
I don't find much joy or appreciation in being me, much of time. I just am, and always have been, someone who is just decent. Decent at school, decent at sports, decent friend. I just am a utility player and don't excel or am not the best at anything. I wonder where that comes from and why does it bother me so much?